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[controllingluck]

[An automated sounding computer voice says:] This is the in box of Himawari Kunogi, Please leave a message!

[After a moment there is a new notice, this time the girl speaks in a cheerful voice]
Hello! This is Himawari. If you have a question about the city or wish to have some assistance looking up jobs or places for rent, please leave me a message and I will get back to you as soon as possible!

Comments

[action]

[soldierfirst]

Can I get you anything to help with the pain? I can try the Materia, if you'd like.

[He still wore a concerned expression, one that betrayed the fact that yes, she had become more than 'just an acquaintance'. And it was easier to focus on the concern instead of the anger he felt at what had happened to her -- and how her killer had appeared over the NV to gloat.]

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She shook her head a little bit, still kind of feeling guilty that she was sure he was going to have trouble later, if not soon]

No. It'll pass. It's already getting better. I just... [Have you ever seen birds nestle down in their feathers and look a little angry and fluffy? She was settling down in the couch/jacket/blanket mess much like that right now. a tiny little huff] ...still a bit annoyed by the whole thing.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

[He was familiar with this behavior, if only for seeing it in Tanpopo's agitation over the days she was going. He had felt sorry for the bird, and for her other pets, and had spent some time in their company in the few days following her death. There were probably little signs of his time spent there, if she looked hard enough.]

Talk to me. If it won't bother your headache.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She hadn't really noticed yet. All she had noticed was that her Sword was gone and that her pets were alright. At the moment, nothing else mattered or bothered her.]

Don't know what to say. [It was said a bit pouty, like she was actually trying to be mad at him. But he clearly wouldn't know why. She hasn't told him yet. And the death was embarrassing. Damn it, she had been trying to be strong]

I wish it wasn't... so... public.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

Say anything. [He had all the patience in the world for this moment, for her.]

Strange that it's your first wish, I think. Others would immediately jump on the track of wishing it had never happened in the first place.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She blinked, taking in his words and... frowned more. Her mask was off tonight. Completely. This was her, with no false smiles or emotions at all. Always half on the edge of tears that had stopped falling, always half on the edge of being mad.]

I... I wish it didn't happen, but it did. I was glad it was me and not one of the local greeters though. At least I had the chance to come back. But... I don't... don't like the fact that people knew, or were worried. And... [she rubbed at her nose, not looking at him. Staring down at his coat instead. She snugged it closer, for a moment.] ...I was trying to be so careful.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

[And Sephiroth could recognize that he had to tread carefully. It was a daunting task, because he knew he had not the best set of social skills, but she had become a friend to him, and worth the effort.]

I know. And it doesn't surprise me that your first thought is of others more than yourself. I should lecture you on the definition of being careful, I suppose. [He shifted off the arm of the couch, moving to kneel at her side instead. His voice dipped to a quieter tone.] 'Should' doesn't really matter now. But I do wish to train you.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She frowned more] I was careful. [She mumbled a bit, more pouty now. She was still really worried about where her sword was, not sure if the man took it or if it had been taken with her...er... body to the station the police did have it. She was more worried about what others thought. 'Oh poor little untrained, helpless girl'. Bah]

Train? I'm really not sure training would have stopped this. The end results would have been the same. [Her head tipped over to look at him, still not happy, but not angry either]

[action]

[soldierfirst]

I have no doubt that you were. Truly, I do not wish to patronize you. [And he doesn't, because it was not fair to her. Yes, there was likely more she could have done, but hindsight did not give license to condescend.] I wish most that I had been there to guard you.

[He met her gaze for a moment before long lashes flickered over his eyes, and Sephiroth looked away after the blink.] It would ease my mind. I can't-- [He shook his head, cutting himself off.] Please.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

You can't be here all the time. As... as much as I am glad to know that... that I have someone who cares enough to... to be around. I know and you know that what happened there was unavoidable.

[She shrank down in the jacket more shh, it was warm and smelled good but frowned more as well. Her eyes were not watching him now, but watching the breathing of the dog at her feet.] I-I'm not saying... not saying you can't. I'm also not saying it's a good idea. The last two trainers I had always had the worst luck because of me.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

Logically, I know that. [His expression was a little sad, but it was soon schooled back to neutral.] Blame it on the foolishness of a soldier, if you wish.

I am willing to take the risk. I know we've talked about how it's your choices as well, to not wish to harm me. [He sighed, smoothing a wrinkle of the coat where it draped over the edge of the couch and toward the floor.] In my whole life, you are only the fourth person I've come to consider a friend, and the fourth to be ripped from me. I... I am so tired of losing people.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She didn't say anything at first. Not to any of it. She simply sat there, snuggled into the jacket and blanket and let the words sink in a bit more. Friends were a really important thing to her; something she had so very few of, really. Acquaintances, sure, but never a lot of friends. Having them ripped away from you she understood as well, but thankfully for her they were just 'sent back home' or something as simple as that. or so she hoped.]

I'm... [sorry I let myself get killed? Yeah, no, she paused again, trying to find the words.] I'm not really the best person to have as a friend but... I am glad to know you think of me as one. One of which seems very few. I'll... I'll try not to make you worry again. Be more careful. [but she wasn't making eye contact just yet] Though...

[She lifted a finger to rub the little birds head, snuggled to her neck and hair, still not looking at Sephiroth] How has your luck been holding out lately?

[action]

[soldierfirst]

I do. And by my estimation, you are a better friend than you think, if you would but allow yourself to see it. [He was trying not to pressure her into talking, a feeling at odds with the part of him that wanted to take her by the shoulders and shake her.] I know you'll be careful. But please, do not hesitate to call me. Grant me that indulgence, if you can give no other.

[The shift in conversation made him pause, and think back on their previous encounters. A pattern was starting to emerge, though he was hoping for confirmation from her on the suspicion.] It has been up and down. I would say it is up today, because you are returned.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[she just gave a little nod to all that. A yes to a lot of it. She would call if she needed help, she would call if she didn't, really. It was nice to know she wasn't alone in the Port anymore.]

[Instead of saying anything at all to any of this though, she just stared off a bit at the coat, frowning.] It's more then likely my fault, the weaker luck you might have had lately. I've forgotten to take, um... it from you a few times I think. It's something I used to be good about but lately... I don't know.

[yeah, none of that was the clearest]

[action]

[soldierfirst]

[He'd take that nod, recognizing in it that it's all he's likely to get -- she was fiercely independent, and that's what he liked about her, after all.]

Oh? [He shifted a little to lean on a hip, folding his hands on the edge of the couch -- not touching her! -- and resting his chin atop them. He was contemplating both her and her words, turning the whole situation over in his head.] You've hinted before that you might be bad luck for me. Are you saying that you are more than superstition?

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She had to be independent. It was something she had learned a year and a half ago when left alone in this place. She couldn't rely on Doumeki for everything so... she learned. Perhaps too well, but still...]

[She moved as well, settling into the couch a bit more, more to her side, and resting her head on her shoulder, watching him. She had already done him the damage today, or rather he had done it earlier. Still, she was just careful, in general.]

[It took her a moment to state it, the problem, but she tried to explain. Only a few people in port knew anyhow] More then superstition. I cause bad luck to others. Real, very bad, bad luck. Mostly through connections and interactions, though it seems that in this city it's through touch or thought. [as in she had some form of control now, but... but that was the power, not the curse. Her voice was soft but a little flat as she spoke.] It's hard to explain sometimes...

[action]

[soldierfirst]

[He didn't move as she shifted, save to let his eyes follow her face as she settled against her shoulder. He had a fleeting thought as well, pleased that she was comfortable with him so close. Considering his position and circumstances in Midgar, it was strangely different.]

Not as hard as you think. There is a type of Materia back home, that can increase the user's luck for a time. This sounds the opposite, though the mechanics differ. [He nodded thoughtfully, turning the implications over in his head. For every thought, for every single touch-- No, down that path lay ill thoughts, and he did not wish to bring her mood down more.] For what it may be worth, I am -- how to phrase it? -- reluctant to casual touch. Except in getting you up here, of course.

[And that day with the cherry blossoms...]

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[She trusted him enough not to be too worried. She was far too tired from all this to protest anything anymore either. He was close, but he was also safe, so it was okay.]

I think for me, back home, it was just a curse. Here I can do more with it. [He had no idea, on that. It could be really, very bad, when it came down to it. She hated it, so very much, but at least she could spare others... when she felt it] I'm still mad at you for that.

[she said it with a bit of a sullen tone, but it was clear she wasn't really mad anymore.] You could really have been hurt if I hadn't of taken that off you two. I told you not to. I could have made it on my own. [how many times had she said that today? How many times did she grump to them about this?]

[It was good though, that he was reluctant. She found herself often wanting to reach out and touch a strand of his hair, for one (it was so lovely) but even that she was reluctant to do. So really, that worked out for everyone, in the end. No one got hurt and there were no awkward moments.]

[action]

[soldierfirst]

It is an interesting sort of curse, if you don't mind my saying so. [Certainly it was unlike anything he had ever heard, but he was also not the type to go believing in curses and ghost stories and the like. Still, he would not dismiss it out of hand -- could not, with how serious she was. His tone held hints of apology and acceptance both.] You can be mad all you want; I am sorry for breaching your trust of me. I am just relieved to have gotten you up here, and to see you feeling better. You could have been hurt if we had left you there, or if someone had come upon you so weakened.

[Innumerable times; Sephiroth himself had stopped counting. He considered the point moot, because her well being came first, and getting her up to her apartment had been a part of that.] For what it's worth, my... enhancements mean I can heal in hours what takes days for you. Please, don't take too much from me, that it impedes your healing. I can manage the few days you need. [That he was not entirely comfortable with talking about himself in such a way was probably painfully clear to her, despite his efforts to keep it from his expression.]

[He would not stop her, if she chose to reach out. He viewed his earlier actions as having breached a barrier of her comfort -- and her necessity, perhaps, given her curse -- and would not make the first move in reestablishing it. That was for her to define, and he to follow.]

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

I don't mind. It is interesting, I guess. [she frowned a bit, eyes half shut for a moment.] I had figured out how to live back home like this but here... things are different. I can't help but wonder if it would have been like this at home as well, after time, or if this is just harder.

[She blinked her eyes open again looking at him as he apologized though. Giving him a faint smile she nodded, just once] I just... didn't want to see you guys hurt. Thank you, though... for putting up with me. [Frowning again she peeked out at his face, eyeing his hand and the silver hair. She wasn't really staring at him but through him for a moment.]

I would rather take what is mine and spare you the pain in the first place though. [her eyes focused on his a moment after that, taking in his words and how they were said. Enhancements. Faster healing. She wasn't surprised, really. He had dealt with being sick rather fast as well.] It hurts more to know you might be suffering then it does to actually take it myself.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

You are interesting. [After all, his interest had been captured by Himawari, not 'Himawari's Curse'. His eyes stayed trained on her face, considering, while the fingers of one hand tapped lightly against the other -- merely a few sparse movements of the joints, and quickly stopped.] Things are indeed different here, for all of us. Dwelling on the "what ifs" of home may not do you well, at times.

"Putting up with" has nothing to do with it. We wanted to help; we chose to do so of our own free will. [He would be patient while she looked -- either at him or through him, wherever her gaze needed to be. Far be it from he to interrupt her healing, be it physical or otherwise.]

I understand. You are more generous than most would be. [He noted the moment her focus returned, as if she was descending from a brief daydream. It was probably a good thing she didn't ask too many details about that time of illness. His had been violent, thanks to the enhanced metabolism; while he had fought it off fast, the severity of its effects likely would have landed an unenhanced human in the hospital. As it was, he knew Genesis had been up for most of the night in vigil.] I do not wish for you to suffer either, you know.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

But I'll end up back home again. I'll end up like I was. Time stops, back there. This wont change it. I'll end up like I was and all I have right now are the 'what its' to consider. [She was one of the few who really didn't want to go back home, at least not so soon. This was cheating life, giving her one life to live, or in this case two lives... and then return to her old one later.]

[There was a small nod to the free will comment, still frowning over at him. She watched, just for a bit, eyes focused but sleepy. Mostly it was just emotional wear out more then anything.] I don't mind.

[Her hand rose absentmindedly from where she had it tucked into her chest, reaching out towards him. She stopped for a moment, almost to draw back, but then reached further to just barely touch a few strands of silvery hair, pushing them away from his face. It was as soft as it looked. Drawing back a bit again, curling her fingers in once more she frowned] Sorry. I... never said Thank you, did I?

[action]

[soldierfirst]

I did not mean to ignore it, or to dismiss it outright -- but instead not to dwell when so doing brings nothing but stress. [He shifted a little, shoulders rolling slightly before stilling back into his relaxed position against her couch. They surely painted quite the picture for an observer, but only the pets were there as witness.]

Generous. [He repeated the word with a hint of a smile -- not quite teasing, not quite not.] Are--

[He froze at the action, at her hesitance therein; he would almost liken it to a bird: unsure, and likely to fly with any slight movement. But as she moved again so did he, turning very slightly into her touch. It was a permission granted -- a penance perhaps, for what he had taken in touching her earlier. His eyes followed the progress of her hand back to herself, before flicking up to her own again.] You have said it in enough ways through your actions; I would not begrudge you a lack of vocalization.

[action]

[controllingluck.livejournal.com]

[To the first she only nodded. A simple small movement, though she clearly looked as if she was considering his words. Don't dwell. She supposed she could take those words of advice. The animals were scattered. The bird still snuggled down near the resting girl, the dog on the floor, appearing to be asleep but near. The cat was no where to be found, but watching. Clearly their girl was being taken care of, so there was no need to worry right now]

Still... [she drew her hand back into her chest, shifting on the couch so it was tucked in closer to her neck. She wasn't sure what compelled her to do so, but she had.] Actions or not, I'll properly thank you. Someone must have been here taking care of everyone while I was gone. And you came to get me when I came back. You must have already been at the apartments.

[action]

[soldierfirst]

[She hopefully would take his advice, at least for the night -- a good sleep would help her more than anything else, would allow her to recover some of her strength and to slip her masks and walls back into their proper places.]

Still, nothing. [He would not pursue the hand, despite the fleeting thought to do so, and to catch it: that was not his place in this, and curiosity could be sent back to the dark corner of his mind from whence it had come.] You are welcome. I hope you don't mind, but they seemed reluctant to let me leave, especially that first night I came here. I borrowed your couch to sleep. [His expression quirked into the briefest of smiles for a moment; yes, he had slept on the same couch on which she now reclined.]